el abstraido

It's about time...

2011-11-06T01:17:42Z

Well I thought I'd update as I haven't in awhile. I'm ending the 3rd year of being sick, and no end in sight. They pretty much figure it's Carcinoids and have me on schedule for a few scans a PET and Octriotide. Both should be able to see any and all tumors which in turn should cure me of this once found and removed. That's great news for me however.... This is taking longer because of the insurance approval. Meanwhile I've been feeling worst and worst as these weeks go on, I've gone to ER again quite a few times with what appears to be a heart attack according to the symptoms that I have. However, each time it shows up as not having been one, so we still do not know what these attacks are. I have gotten dizzier and dizzier as the weeks go on, I always have a constant feeling of motion these days, as if I were on a boat all the time. I think I will be updating this more and more now a days, as I'll go into testing and even though I try and keep up spirits up by talking to friends and family, I'm feeling more and more like just being alone with my thoughts. This is a good outlet, no one may be reading this but it's nice and cathartic to be typing it all out and getting these feelings out of my head and onto a screen. Let's see how the tests go...

Another spot taken in my driveway...

2011-06-29T15:00:47Z

I had my 48 Chevy Fleetmaster, which I was hoping to have running by now. However, a deal came my way that I couldn't pass up, a almost complete 1947 Chevy Stylemaster. I ended up paying more for the '47, but I'm actually saving money in the long run.

Well now I even has the engine and transmission installed, I'm way ahead of the game now with this car. I'm hoping to be on the road in less then a month which is great news for me. After so many medical tests lately I can use some good news. Health wise i'm still great on paper (expect for my liver tests which are slightly elevated) even though I feel like crap, but this car makes me feel better then any of the meds I get prescribed. :)

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well well well...

2009-10-12T06:49:58Z

Well I havn't been keeping up with the site as planned and revamped it the way i wanted to lately, mainly because work is a monster right now and hella busy. I'm trying to finish out 4 cars before winter sets in. Also work on my other car project "just blaze" that you can follow on Approaching Midnight

another website...

2009-09-08T06:20:21Z

i got bored and launched another website, enjoy Approaching Midnight

The Long Story...

2009-08-08T07:19:50Z

Well this is how the story goes, i'll spill it here once and pry never say it again and pry add on to this post alittle as i go on more and feel like sharing more. Everyone says they understand what your going thru when your sick, but it's a hard thing to do unless you've been down that road, I know i've said this to people before and now see how i was completely wrong i had no idea what they were going thru...

Click the read more to see what i'm babbling about :)

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    When it all started i even had a few doc's telling me I was just a hypochondriac, and even as much as telling me the medical tests i had done came out fine (which i later found out it was a different story, THANKS ALOT KADLEC ER DOCTOR SUSAN WHITTAKER! which i should pry sue as i later found out this mistake could have killed me if left unfound)

   People don't realize what it's like when you've had an illness for this long and still not quite sure what it is and what is the cause, you get these random, sometimes severe pains and your expected just to deal with it. It's all a bit unnerving to me at least. I used to get a sharp pain in my back that would gradually spread into my left arm and chest with a tightness and sometimes heavy breathe and heart palpitations. These pains were sometimes to severe that it would send me to my knees. After awhile i had a fear of even going anywhere as when these would come on i had no idea what was going on just that i was in intense pain to the point sometimes of blacking out from it. As time went on it also started to include sharp pains in my head which later developed into intense pain thru out the entire head also. All in all i was a complete mess and hurt from head to toe. I remember days when i was just not even want to wake up and just stay curled up in a ball in bed because when i was awake i was only in pain and at least asleep i was at peace.

As time went on i've had three surgeries since October of 08. Even though i don't have as intense pain anymore as i used to the pains still come and go randomly it's still abit unsettling as there is still the chance i could have a tumor. I have two doctors opinions on this one which believes i have it and it's just not big enough to show up in the scan's i've had done, and another doctor which has told me there is nothing there and my blood work is just elevated because that's just how my blood is. So not knowing for sure is still always in the back of my mind. People will tell me to just live my life and not think about it, and that's the only way to get back to normal. What these people don't realize is they have not been down this path and doing that is not as easy as they think.

   It's completely different when you've had to go thru certain things, the surgeries although went off without complications. The recoveries have been horrible and painful. Until you know what it's like when you feel your body struggling to cling to stay alive when something starts to fail, you'll know why it's hard to keep my head up at times. When you are laying there with tubes coming out of your face, arms, spine and other locations, probes stuck to your chest and hands it's a whole new ballgame. you suddenly realize your not the untouchable man anymore and this could be it.

   People don't realize this new life i have now, is no life at all, it's as if i'm a prisoner within my own skin. I'm not able to go out and enjoy life as i used to, i can't go take a trip simply out of town to visit friends anymore, i can't go see a concert of a great act i really wanna see, i can't just go out to a dance or party that some good friends are throwing and stop by to say hi or congratulations. I'm stuck here, why cuz when the pains come on all i can do is lay down and take it till it passes, when i do go out to friends homes here in town, i just grin and bare it as much as i can till it passes while i'm at their home. so as not to cause them alarm or worry as i'm having an episode.

Pain has become a new way of life for me, I live with it everyday and i would pry honestly feel wierd now without it as i've been with it so long. :) all i can hope for is the day it all just goes away and i can get on with my life, and appreciate those that have helped make this time in my life more tolerable and realize the ones that i thought were friends and only added to the fact were not really worth anything in the end and helped to appreciate those others that were even more for putting up with someone they didn't have to but wanted to because they honestly know what it meant to be a friend...

Nothing like a Bbq in summer...

2009-07-23T06:47:27Z

You gotta love summer bbq's. The smells the food the fresh air Ah so refreshing :)

Oh, the new office 2010 is so shiny…

2009-07-16T05:51:32Z

I’m here testing out the new tech preview of Office 2010 for MS and man i must say it’s pretty nice using the x64 version of it means when i load it, before i can blink its already loaded, i can get my spam that much faster now! :) anyways the new outlook has a conversation style threads for email now, which makes it hella easier to follow a conversation and reply to, here’s a screenshot of the new UI and new ribbon

Testing posting from my N95

2009-06-30T18:58:41Z

mt_20090630_065505327.txt
Just posting an entry from the Pooper here and seeing if it works

new site coming

2009-04-12T15:24:18Z

Well abstraido is gonna get a complete revamp as well as a new site focus, it’s coming so stay tuned people :)

facebook comes to abstraido

2009-03-08T06:24:25Z

Well just cuz I’m bored, I implimented the facebook connect plugin. You can now sign-in to comment with your facebook account, but if you the difference is create an account here and comments are approved automatically, facebook user comments need to be approved :)

blast from the past…

2009-03-03T21:02:50Z

Hahaha… i was digging around my server while doing an update and found this picture floating around on there and I had forgotten this night. Me and my friend Lupillo Rivera out at Denny’s after his concert at Trac

and history repeats itself…

2009-03-03T19:02:29Z

Well yet again another car accident in front of my parents house, this makes it about 9 i think in total and personally we’ve lost about 4 or 5 cars to accidents here on this street, I was talking to the cops and it turns out i guess they said another road is closing and expect traffic here to double again.

if you happen to know…

2009-03-02T04:50:49Z

I’ve been looking all day for extensions for dreamweaver to make movable type 4 templates and i can’t seem to find any recent ones, or at least point me to a website with a nice tut on it

I joined me a league

2009-03-01T00:14:10Z

I thought i needed to get more exercise, so i joined a league, check it out

Trying this new service out…

2009-02-28T23:01:18Z

Hmm… this is actually pretty coo…, i’m to lazy now to even log into my server and update that i’m using this new app to update, it’s pretty coo… anyone using movable type you gotta check out windows live writer, it works pretty good

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